The horrors of twolegs
by EvilKillerPrincess
Summary: will SANDSTORM ever get back to thunderclan? will they ever kill hawkfrost? will they ever go back to the tribe of blah blah blah? will stupidonewholikescheese ever get his cheese? will the forest stop taking fake drugs?
1. STUPID TWOLEGS!

"Sandstorm where are you?" firestar meowed, he was clueless of were she was even though she was in front of him. "Right here stupid" "ooooh sandstorm I thought I lost you!" "Are you insane? I was in front of you!" "Ohh no you weren't missy!" "Uhh cinderpelt could you take firestar and check his eyesight?" "I did yesterday! He's fine!" "No way!" "Yes way!" "NOOOO!" "yeeessss!" "NOOOOO!" "YEES!' "What ever... firestar!" "What were are you?" "I'm in front of you stupid!" "Oh…" "Yea!" "Ha!" "Why was that funny firestar?" "I have nooo clue!" then tigerstar appeared "muahahahaha!" he shouted "I'm here to take firestar! Yoink!" "NOOO FIRESTAR!" sandstorm shrieked with horror while tigerstar put him in his car and drove away. "WAAA!"

"I lost my dear husband now what am I to do!" sandstorm sobbed while sitting in the middle of thunderpath "I'll tell you! Just come here! The monster is coming!" cinderpelt shrieked. To cinderpelt's surprise, the monster stopped and a two-leg appeared "mom! Can we keep her?" a small two-leg said "well it has no collar, sure." The tall two-leg said to the small two-leg. They picked up sandstorm. "hey let sandstorm go!" cinderpelt hissed "help cinderpelt!" sandstorm meowed almost crying "heeeelp!" sandstorm screamed in pure horror hoping some one could rescue her.

FIRESTAR

"yo sup tigey" firestar purred "hi…" "Hello!" "HI!" "HEEEEELLLLLOOOOO!" "I said hi!" tigerstar hissed "okay okay okay…please let me go tigerstar!" "Why?" "I don't know..." "Well I won't let you go..." "What about my wife and children stupid!" "…….." "get me out of this kennel!" "Fine!" tigey hissed letting firestar see his wife and children.

SANDSTORM

"wow these cat treats sure taste good…" sandstorm meowed, she didn't care about breaking the warrior code, those treats were tempting. "Let's call her jingle!" "Excuse me two-leg but my name is sandstorm." "Mom I think I'm insane the cat's speaking English!" "I heard it too! No big deal!" "BUT MOM A CAT SPOKE ENGLISH!" "oh..AHHHH get it out of the house!" "NO MOM!" "YES!" "NO!" "YES!" "yes let poor me go!" sandstorm meowed "take her to the animal shelter!" "NOOOO!" sandstorm screamed while a two-leg took her to the animal shelter.


	2. The Escape

"Hello what's your name? My name is fluffy" a animal shelter cat meowed "my name is sandstorm" "was that your first name?" "No my first name was Sandpaw I think…" "That's strange my first name was Darkclaw I think, I used to be a Warrior in the forest in MysteryClan…" "MysteryClan? Never heard of it I was a warrior too and I still am! I used to live in thunderclan! I had a husband and two lovely kits!" "How tragic, want a cookie?" "Yes please…" sandstorm meowed "all of the cats here are warriors…" Darkclaw meowed "but we are the only cats here..." "Right!" "Ooooh I get it..." "Yea..." "Well lets get out when a two-leg comes!" "Yes great plan!" Darkclaw meowed.

DARKPAW

-black fur

-blue eyes

-intimidating

"here's our chance!" sandstorm meowed, as soon as a young two-leg came to grab poor Sandstorm, Darkclaw and Sandstorm darted towards the door, escaping from the animal shelter. "YEEEEESSSSS!" Darkclaw and sandstorm meowed at the same time "now were do we go? Thunderclan or MysteryClan?" sandstorm meowed "I say thunderclan, I hated my own clan…" Darkclaw meowed "alrighty then!" Sandstorm meowed as they went to the nearest gas station to find a map to thunderclan. "ahhh you need the Warriors series books!" some gas station two-leg said too drunk to know Sandstorm was a cat.

FIRESTAR

"CINDERPELT!" "yes firestar?" "were IS sandstorm?" "she was taken away by a two-leg by thunderpath, she's not dead I know she isn't!" "well we must search for her!" "firestar, there's no use…" "NO CINDERPELT! I AM NOT GOING TO LET MY WIFE GO!" firestar hissed while he grabbed a fluffy yellow coat and went to search for Sandstorm.


	3. clan mettings and problems!

"TO CHAPTERS!" Darkclaw explained while sitting on a chair in chapters "we're in chapters silly!" sandstorm hissed "okay which book?" "What do you mean?" "look warriors…chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 or warriors the new prophecy? Chapters 1, 2, 3, and 4! Tis confusing!" sandstorm explained "get them all!" "Okay good plan, wait we need cash…" "I have forest dollars? You?" "I do to..." "We need 1000 forest bucks." "Okay I have them in my purse..." sandstorm meowed while pulling a purse out of her tail some how. "Okay that'll be $200 dollars" the cashier said to drunk on starbucks coffee to notice sandstorm and Darkclaw were cats. "Here you go" Darkclaw meowed "what are these?" "Forest bucks!" "We only accept money sorry" "this is money!" "Robert!" "Yes?" "They want to use forest bucks is that okay?" "Yes as long as its money stupid" "okay!"

FIRESTAR

It was a cold winter evening firestar was struggling the wind was blowing hard on him. "must save my wife" he meowed while jumping, making him fly, which made him scared, which made him go all the way up to starclan. "Bluestar is that you?" "Yea stupid now shut up! I'm trying to watch this retarded episode of Barney!" "Well you shut up! At least I'm not fat piece o' crud!" "Hey that wasn't nice, now I can't tell you a prophecy next week." "Sorry Bluestar, can you tell me it now?" "Alright, you have been a good boy this year, well Santa Claus isn't coming for Christmas this year, sorry." "NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!" firestar meowed "ooooh and I recommend you search for Sandstorm again, she's in BIG trouble!" "Oh no!"

THUNDERCLAN

"We have to go to the meeting even though firestar is gone!" Graystripe meowed "but temporarily I an graystar!" "But you didn't get your lives" "and I will get them if firestar doesn't turn up in 3 weeks." "Yes graystar…" Cinderpelt meowed.

Thunderclan, riverclan, windclan, and shadowclan finally arrived and everyone was about to begin. "Now who is going to start?" Tallstar meowed "how about Thunderclan?" the clans agreed "alright thunderclan." "Okay, we have" Tallstar interrupted "Where's firestar?" "I will explain that just listen!" "Yes of course your majesty!" "Now firestar's wife got taken away by a magical pen, then firestar decided to look for her and turned into a fluffy yellow coat." "Ooooh I see your clan is being teared apart by monkeys how tragic!" "Yes indeed it is. "Riverclan?" Tallstar meowed "well our clan has discovered that a dog named Snoopy is in a show called Charlie Brown how interesting eh?" Leopardstar meowed "wow!" the cats meowed very astonished "okay, Shadowclan?" Tallstar meowed "well some how riverclan fish have started top walk to our territory, we don't dare hunt them but we ask riverclan, can we take those fish?" "Yes indeed you can!" "Grrrreat thanks." "Okay now our clan?" Tallstar meowed "yes indeed" Tallstar replied to himself "well our clan has an issue; magical rabbit are eating our pickles!" "Oh my god poor you!" the clans meowed very dramatically "will one clan help us?"

SANDSTORM

"Darkclaw find the map?" "Yes I did sandstorm your clan is mighty pretty." "Indeed it is!" the two cats then walked along trying to find there home, thunderclan but a big army of pickles appeared and the evil killer rabbit! "Oh no! What are we to do!" sandstorm shrieked. "Let's hide in Wal-Mart!" Darkclaw exclaimed.

Hello! My next chapter is going to be very strange hopefully. Please review because I would like to have some comments on my work, it makes me feel special! Lol! NO MEAN COMMENTS! Please?


	4. Santa and problems!

"Cat's of Thunderclan" Graystar meowed "I would like to announce something very special, of course the cats of Thunderclan HAVE been good pickles, and CHRISTMAS IN 20 MORE DAYS!" "Yay!" the cats yelled throwing confetti every where. "Great who's going to pick the confetti up?" Cinderpelt hissed "I will! I just looooove eating confetti!" Bramble claw purred "alright that's settled" Graystar meowed "alright, hunting patrols try to find the missing pear, I loved that pear and the golden feather that we stole from Charlie and the chocolate factory! And Cinderpelt we're running out o' pepto bismo! Make some more Leafpaw is ill. Oh and Mr. Dress up, would you teach me how to make puppets?" "SURE!" Mr. Dress up said, not knowing the Cat's were cats, he was too drunk on Glue. Just then Firestar ran in "BAD NEWS Graystripe!" meows from Thunderclan cats were heard "SANTA CLAUS ISN'T COMING TO TOWN!" Firestar meowed. Cats started fainting "we must do something!" Firestar hissed "I have an idea." Graystripe purred "what if we help all the clans with their problems." "Like..." "Killing the evil killer rabbit" "great idea! Let's start!"

SANDSTORM

Sandstorm and Darkclaw ran into Wal-mart dodging oversized carts and boxes. "Oh dear" Darkclaw meowed "what is it…" Sandstorm meowed "he's right in front of you" "no one is in front of me…" "oh yea look closer" sandstorm then put her nose against a two-leg "oh no…" "Ho ho ho merry Christmas!" the two-leg greeted "SANTA CLAUS!" Sandstorm purred "this is Santa?" Darkclaw meowed "yea" "I need your help you two lovely kitties" "what do you need help with Santa?" Darkclaw meowed "well I need to get out o' Wal-mart I know how to get out; I just need to dodge the kids." "Well I know a way, there's an open widow over there" "thank-you! Now what do you want for Christmas?" "I want to go back home" sandstorm meowed sadly "and I want to go with her…" Darkclaw meowed "well, don't you know how to go home?" "Yes… but if we don't make it before Christmas, that's all…" "Alright" "thank you!"

THE MEETING

The clan cats meet. "Who's going to start?" tallstar purred "I'll go first" Firestar meowed. Shocked meows were heard loudly. "Now you all SHOULD no that my wife is gone, and Santa isn't coming this year." "Yes we all know that!" "Great, we think if we all do good deeds we can get Santa to come this year." "Good plan!" "Who's next?" tallstar purred "I say STARCLAN!" Bluestar hissed "Charlie brown has taken our stop sign! Then Scooby-Doo took all our meow mix just to irritate us! THEN Barney took all our pillows and THEN the teletubbies took our T.V.!" "Oh my! How sorry we all our!" the clan meowed "how can we help?" Firestar meowed "well we COULD have a bake-sale" Tigerstar suggested "well what a fun and good idea that is!" Leopardstar purred "let's do that." Tallstar meowed "thanks guys, best be off to starclan again..." the starclan kitties meowed as they took off.

"Okay weirdstar?" tallstar meowed, apparently weirdstar is shadowclans leader. "well puss n' boots and puss n' gloves have taken half of our territory! They have also taken our freshly baked pie, cookies, cake, muffins and they have taken my bedroom! And my pretty pillow!" weirdstar meowed so desperate for help. "We shall attack them at 1:00am!" Firestar meowed "that's in 30 minutes" "so?" "What ever…"

"Okay Riverclan" well our clan is being taken over by the evil killer rabbit and we lost all of our mints! I want tic tacs!" Leopardstar meowed dramatically "well we shall call the guy that found the pink panther diamond!" Firestar meowed "daddy" "LEAFPAW!" Firestar hissed "THIS IS A CLAN MEETING!" "Sorry I just needed a parent signature, my class was going on a field trip, we were going to camp, could I go?" Leafpaw meowed quietly "alright then…" Firestar meowed signing the tiny piece of paper that said "SIGN ME OR DIE" "hey my kid is going on that field trip too!" Weirdstar purred "and what's her or his name?" Leafpaw asked "his name is princesspaw" "sounds sooo manly" "yes…" "Alright back to the meeting!" Leopardstar hissed "no fighting!" tallstar meowed "my turn to speak! Our clan has grown soo many pink flowers and yellow fuzzy 'things' we are frightened" tallstar meowed frightened "well call the ghost busters!" Firestar meowed heroically "yeeeessssss great idea!" the cats meowed "good thank you, meeting is dismissed" tallstar meowed "hey look a pretty little cougar!" brambleclaw meowed, just then the cougar ate him "I'm no pretty kitty…" it hissed while walking away. "Brambleclaw!" Firestar hissed "get him!" Graystripe hissed while sending his pet mouse to get him. Just then the mouse defeated the cougar and got bramby back.

SANDSTORM

"Well we're out o Wal-mart" sandstorm meowed "well we are still in trouble…" Darkclaw meowed staring at a freaky purple polka dotted cat with red eyes "welcome back Darkclaw" the cat meowed "OH NO!DR. FLUFFYSTAR" Darkclaw meowed "don't move or I'll wreck your butter!" Dr. Fluffystar hissed "okay…" Darkclaw and sandstorm meowed, just then Mr. Pickles the clown saved the cats.

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hey every one! me updating when ever i want, so dont expect me to update EVERY weekend sor day...any how UPDATE! Please? 


	5. Confetti

"hi Mr. Pickles!" sandstorm meowed with joy. "who's Mr. Pickles?" darkclaw hissed

"my bestest clown friend!" "oh!" "yea.." "c'ya pickles" "SURE!" "I said c'ya" "oh yea

c'ya." Just then they arrived at the tribe of blah blah blah. "HAWKFROST!" sandstorm

hissed furiously "roar!" hawkfrost hissed "beware its sharptooth!" stupid-one-who-

likes-cheese meowed scared "it's just hawkfrost …" sandstorm meowed "whos that?" the

tribe of blah blah blah and darkclaw meowed confused "the new tigerstar!" sandstorm

hissed "oh yea I heard of him he's one bad kitty" darkclaw meowed "aww c'mon guys!

I'm scary rawr!" hawkfrost meowed "yelpers!" the-one-who-drink-to-much-water

meowed "you guys don't be scared of this bad kitty watch" sandstorm meowed "what are

you going to do…" hawkfrost meowed scared "boo!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

!" "boo!" "Ahhhhhhhhh!" hawksfrost got soo scaredhe committed suicide.

MEANWHILE

"look confetti!" graystripe meowed "SHINY!" Graystripe meowed like he was

hypnotized "must watch it…" graystripe meowed laying on the ground staring deeply

into the confetti "wut'cha looking at gray…" firestar meowed as he looked at the confetti

and laid down beside Graystripe. Soon all of windclan, shadowclan, riverclan, and

thunderclan sat watching the extremely shiny piece of confetti. "c'mon this confetti was a

gift from starclan!" leopardstar hissed to mothwing "I will only believe in starclan IF

sandstorm jumps out of that confetti!" Mothwing hissed furiously. Just then sandstorm

hopped joyfully out of the confetti while Darkclaw followed. "hey guys!" sandstorm

meowed. "what…" darkclaw and sandstorm meowed walking closer to firestar and

watched the shiny piece of confetti. Soon garfeild, ogie, the tricks rabbit, Pluto, micky

mouse, Minnie mouse, Donald duck, some random person called BOB, and hawkfrost

joined the confetti-watching.

"must-follow confetti" the cats, dogs cartoon characters ect… said "WAIT!" bluestar

hissed infront of them. Just then the confetti went into the river and the characters went

back to normal.

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hey, next chappie id coming in a few minutes! yay? R&R! no mean comments! 


	6. HAWKFROST

HAWKFROST,CHEESE, & KFC 

"hey guys guess what?" Sandstorm meowed "I BOUGHT KFC!" "really?" Graystripe meowed shocked "YES!" "yyyyyaaaaaayyyyy!" firestar, cinderpelt, Graystripe, leafpaw, and brambleclaw meowed happily. They all started eating KFC and got very fat. "Sandstorm I want a divorce!" firestar meowed "SURE what ever…" "APRIL FOOLS!" firestar meowed "firestar April fools is in like 5 months…" Graystripe meowed. "I NEED CHEEEEEEEESE!" stupid-one-who-likes-cheese hissed, he walked ALL the way from the tribe of blah blah blah.

"scavenger hunt! For cheese! You can play stupid-one-who-likes-cheese!" cinderpelt purred "yeeeeesssss!" stupid-one-who-likes-cheese meowed with joy as he started looking for cheese.

"I have come to take over the forest, now leave!" Hawkfrost hissed while she sat on a extremely comfy chair. "Crap! Fine…" the clans of the forest meowed. "wait were are we to go?" sandstorm meowed to cinderpelt "don't ask me ask brambleclaw "bramby?" "yes this way" "okay…leafpaw stop eating paste! Squirrelpaw stop trying to eat snoopy!" "aww c'mon mom!" "no buts!"

MEANWHILE

"now were is that cheese?" stupid-one-who-likes-cheese hissed "hello do you know were the cheese is?" he meowed to Spottedleaf "no, but I will tell you if you make sandstorm divorce firestar and kill firestar and make him marry me!" "alrighty then!" stupid-one-who-likes-cheese meowed evil-ishy

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next chappie will be funnier hopefully, well no mean comments and R&R! or else i will wreck your butter! -holds up butter knife- -evil smile- -evil laugh- sorry went to far... 


	7. cheese, cheese, and more cheese!

Cheese hunt, cheese, and even more cheese

"Firestar, we need cheese" tigerstar meowed "tigerstar how did you get your fur so fluffy?" Leafpaw meowed looking at tigerstar as if she married him. "well I just eat a lot of cheese." He meowed clueless Leafpaw started liking him "you are soooooo cute!" Leafpaw meowed moving closer to tigerstar "why thanks you, your fluffy yourself" tigerstar meowed still unaware Leafpaw wanted to marry him. "why thank you!" Leafpaw meowed as she sat on tigerstar "blargh!" he hissed randomly finding out Leafpaw loved him "cooooootiiiieeeeeeesssss!" tigerstar meowed frightened as he ran to starclan

MEANWHILE

Stupid-one-who-likes-cheese started looking for sandstorm but found cheese "hey cheese! I won!"

MEANWHILE IN STARCLAN

"oh my gawd! Stupid fur brain I want to maaaaarrrrryyyyyyy Firestar! This is outrageous! I must marry him even if i8 have to kill him in a war!" spottedleaf hissed with rage as she clicked a button that said 'Riverclan' and another that said 'Thunderclan' and another that said 'go to war'.

MEANWHILE

"we challenge you to a pokemon duel!" Leopardstar meowed randomly "you mean war right?" Firestar meowed "yes stupid" "ahhhhh! Fight!" Firestar hissed, his clan started fighting and he died "dang nabit!" Firestar hissed "crap! I was just about to find my diamond ring Leopardstar stole!" "don't worry" Firestar heard the soft calming voice "spottedleaf?" "yes its me now marry me!" spottedleaf hissed, you'd never guess she had a evil side eh? "no my wife is sandstorm!" " then you will be forced to0 marry me!" spottedleaf meowed while she started reading vows from a sheet of paper "spottedleaf?" "just say your vows!" she meowed, she really wanted this marriage. Just then Firestar came alive "what the?" spottedleaf meowed confused unaware that Firestar had 263 lives left.

MEANWHILE

"I've got to wash these cooties off" tigerstar meowed, unaware that cooties weren't real. "at least I've got cheese!" he meowed. Just then his cheese fell into the tub "NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

MEANWHILE

"Bluestar stop listening to that music so loud!" silverstream meowed "what? I can hardly hear you!" Bluestar shouted "I SAID TURN DOWN THE MUSIC!" "that's not my music I don't listen to classical stuff" "oh" silverstream meowed walking into Bluestars room "BLUESTAR!" "its not what you think!" Bluestar hissed still dancing with the meow mix box.

MEANWHILE

"Firestar?" "yes brambleclaw?" "you got any cheese, I can't find any in the warriors fresh-kill" "my last cheese filled rabbit, you can have it." Firestar purred "why thank-you!" "err brambleclaw?" "yes?" "squirrelpaw asked if you would join her for a tea party you should go she'd like that." "yes Firestar" "alrighty then she want you now" "now?" "yes!"

"err squirrelpaw?" "care for some tea?" "yes please" brambleclaw meowed reaching for the tiny cup full of tea "how was your day squirrelpaw meowed watching brambleclaw drink the tea "great, I got to have one of those cheese-stuffed rabbits, boy they are good!" "I have some here if you'd like?" squirrelpaw meowed gently while she pointed at the extremely fat piece of cheese stuffed fresh-kill "whoa" brambleclaw meowed "yes fat aren't they, I could barely stuff em' with cheese" brambleclaw bit into the fresh-kill and fainted, it was THAT good.

The next day bramble woke up with a lot of cheese around him, he was in a cheese bed, with a cheese pillow, cheese filled fresh-kill, cheese everything! "this has to be a dreamland" brambleclaw meowed "no this is my room" squirrelpaw meowed sitting on the bed beside brambleclaw "lets jump on the cheesey bed!" squirrelpaw mewed while she and brambleclaw jumped up and down on the bed. "CALM DOWN GUYS!" Firestar hissed "you guys neeed some CANDY!" "yay!" squirrelpaw meowed stuffing herself with candy. "hey guys" Leafpaw meowed surprisingly looking adorably fluffy "oh my I just want to eat you!" sandstorm meowed to Leafpaw while she tried eating her "eek!" she meowed as she ran as fast as she could to tigerstar.

MEANWHILE

"excuse me but I have found a nice forest were we can place homes" a two-leg said "yea great spot lets start tearing it apart in 1 week"

STARCAN

"oh dear!" spottedleaf said she didn't want her precious lover to die "you guys we need to give dreams to….crowpaw, he needs to learn less about flying, feathertail because she eats too many feathers, brambleclaw because he likes brambles and tawnypelt because her name is retarded now lets give dreams and scare them by saying we are going to give them cheese in the morning and put cheese by there nose!"

MEANWHILE

"guys, you have to leave" hawkfrost hissed "you leave!" "fine be that way firestar!"

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hey next chappie- well the stories are going to be based on the REAl warriores series thingy mabob i gave you too much info but who cares anyhow- here you guys since i haven't got many reveiws (makes me sad) i need to give instructions on how to reveiw...-giggle- just kidden well reveiw, or i'll throw a frisbe at the sky and it'll land on your head, that made no sense, what ever! R&R! 


	8. the adventure

"hey guys I have a weird dream about the forest…and cheese…then I woke up with cheese…" brambleclaw meowed to feathertail, tawnypelt, crowpaw, and that's it…"same here" the cats meowed "lets go to the sun drown place thingy mabob!" crowpaw suggested "yea!" the cats agreed, there adventure began. "wait I'm coming!" squirrelpaw and stormfur meowed "fine…" the cats hissed irritated "I'm hungry…" squirrelpaw complained "SHUT UP!" the cats hissed, squirrelpaw was soooooo annoying.

"LOOK MIDNIGHT!" the cats screamed with joy when they saw a weird, demented, polka dotted, hippo, with a weird, demented, orange, badger. "HIYA!" brambleclaw meowed acting like the toughest cat in the world "ahh just shut up, cat are soo annoying..." midnight said "go to the mountain okay? Grrrreat..." "Hey can we go to Purdy's chocolate first?" "Fine I don't care…" "Alright thanks!" the cat meowed heading to Purdy's chocolate, "hi my name is Purdy" Purdy meowed "Hi Purdy" the cats meowed "how do I get to those mountains?" "ahh just like umm errr uuummm eeerrr uuuummmm eeerrrr take a right.." Purdy meowed pointing to the mountain which was right beside them "ahh thank you." "your welcome."

The cats started their journey walking up the mountain "CROWPAW stop eating bird poop!" brambleclaw hissed "feathertail stop eating feathers!" "your not the boss of them" squirrelpaw hissed "oh yea that's right sorry guys" "its okay" "look a hat!" crowpaw meowed pointing at a weird thing shaped like two-leg shorts "ooooohhh! HAT!" the clans shrieked fighting over the two-leg shorts "eww they smell like….poop!" squirrelpaw hissed "oohh crow poop!" crowpaw meowed happily flying towards the poopy-shorts. "eeeww crowpaw's eating poo!" squirrelpaw meowed disgusted "meh wut eva" brambleclaw meowed "lets go guys!" feathertail meowed "stormfur if I had a billion dollars would you eat a buck?" feathertail meowed "SURE" stormfur meowed pulling a piece of construction paper out of his purse "construction paper any one?" stormfur meowed "oo I love eating that stuff!" the cat meowed stuffing there selves with paper.

"Look its stupid-one-who-likes-cheese!" squirrelpaw meowed watching stupid-one-who-likes-cheese eat cheese. "Hello my name is the-one-who-thinks-she-can-drown-fish I'm a hunter!" the-one-who-thinks-she-can-drown-fish meowed happily trying to drown a fish. "This is crowpaw he likes eating bird poop." Brambleclaw laughed "then he should meet stupid-one-who-think-bird-poo-is-chocolate" stupid-one-who-likes-cheese meowed "YAY!" crowpaw meowed happily flying into the cave. "hi" the tribe cats meowed still fighting over a piece of cheese filled fresh-kill "mine!" "NO MINE!" "NO WAY MINE" "no mine!" brambleclaw meowed grabbing, and eating the cheese filled fresh-kill "waaaa!" THE TRIBE CATS meowed crying like babies.

"We best be off c'ya" the cats meowed heading back to thunderclan "

MEANWHILE

"I give up…" spotted leaf meowed sadly, she reeeeaaaaalllllyyy wanted firestar to marry her. "Better tell cinderpelt something.. She meowed heading towards thunderclan "yo sup cinderpelt?" "Nothing much, we heard starystar is the new leader of shadowclan…" "well good for him." Cinderpelt meowed "I got leafpaw something, could you give it to her please?" "yes miss" cinderpelt meowed taking the present and handing it to leafpaw, who was still extremely fluffy. "Pretty it's a bow!" leafpaw meowed tying the bow around her neck "you look lovely, lucky you don't look like a kitty-pet" firestar meowed "you were a kitty-pet before so you shut up" leafpaw hissed "sorry…"

MEANWHILE

"Bluestar?" "Yes tigerstar?" "Got any cheese?" "Yes plenty" bluey meowed opening a cupboard 10000000000000000000kilometers long "ooooooo cheese!" tigerstar meowed hopping into the cupboard eating cheese.

MEANWHILE

"I like pink" graystripe meowed "so do I" firestar meowed happily as they tried on pink ribbons

MEANWHILE

"Look thunderclan!" squirrelpaw meowed happily "it looks too yellow… must be starclan" brambleclaw meowed "oh yea that's right, starclan is made o' cheese…" crowpaw meowed

MEANWHILE

"leafpaw I need you help Mr. Dress up is trying to capture me!" cinderpelt meowed frightened "he's just making a card for you!" starystar meowed out of no where "here I'll help!" leafpaw meowed gluing Mr. Dress up to a monster "wee!" he yelled as the monster roared down thunderpath

MEANWHILE

"I just love my job!" silverstream meowed making jewelry "how may I help you Bluestar?" "I need a nice necklace for spottedleaf, she's REEEAAAALLY depressed" "okay take this, free." Silverstream meowed. "THANKS" Bluestar meowed

MEANWHILE

"is this the forest?" squirrelpaw meowed looking at a yellow, white, blue, and black forest "yellow is thunderclan….white is windclan…… blue is riverclan… black is shadowclan…...yep looks like it!" feathertail meowed as she jumped off the cliff and landed in her clan….. Soon the others followed except they landed in there own clan.

MEANWHILE

"Bluestar you got any more cheese?" tigerstar meowed "just eat starclan!" Bluestar hissed "okay thank you Bluestar!"

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hey people next chapter is...sneak peak preveiw:(sorta)

thunderclan's on crack? riverclan's smoking weed? windclan gets so high then-

well yea every 1 the forest is taking drugs. R&R!


	9. forest on drugs

"firestar we're back!" brambleclaw and squirrelpaw meowed "lets go!" "whoa man I'm am sooooooo wasted" firestar meowed drinking a keg of beer. "firestar what's this? Looks sorta white…" leafpaw meowed "I donno lets taste it!" firestar meowed eating the "white stuff" "whoa this is sooo awesome dude" firestar meowed-he was eating crack all along! Soon all of thunderclan was on crack.

RIVERCLAN

"yo supy sup Leopardstar we got to leave to forest yo?" feathertail meowed "oh yea err uhuh…" Leopardstar meowed hiding a smoke that looked weird "Leopardstar you got weed!" feathertail hissed "can I have a whiff?" "What's whiff" "I have no clue..." feathertail meowed smoking weed with Leopardstar, and well the rest of the clan. "whoa man don't like-like-like destroy the trees man that like part of the environment" mistyfoot meowed while a two-leg ran out from the truck and trapped mistyfoot "whoa dude you're so totally taken my freedom man" mistyfoot hissed-oh nozers! Ri-ri-ri-riverclan has turned into hippie's!

WINDCLAN

"hey guys I'm back!" crowpaw meowed "whoa crowpaw why are you like soooooooooo hot" Tallstar meowed "ewww get away from me!" crowpaw hissed "whoa dude did I just like hit on you man?" Tallstar meowed confused looking at his paws "whoa dude I never realized my paws were soooo huge…" Tallstar meowed staring at his paws "gimme what your smoking!" crowpaw meowed taking weed from Tallstar and smoking it. "whoa dude isn't like Bluestar cute…" crowpaw meowed staring at a picture of Bluestar before she had surgery "yea dude…" Tallstar agreed.

SHADOWCLAN

"yo I'm back!" tawnypelt meowed walking into a clan meeting "take a seat tawny" starystar meowed 'we are running out of pancakes!" "yesh we need more pancakes!" "wait guys-I have been noticing the clans have been taking drugs!" juiceboxpaw meowed "oh yes we know already "really?" "yesh" "why are we saying yesh now?" "you know what I really don't know" "meh whatever" "wait weres my fresh baked pie "hehehhe" "firestar!" "sorry, I'm just on crack" "whoa man that cracks me up" "hahahahhahahaahahhaha good one" "why thank you!" "yesh I win starystar really does have manners!" "that remind me of pie!" "yesh lets all eat pie" "why don't we add crack to it?' "great idea!"

THUNDERCLAN

"leafpaw I think we should give all the cats some weed" cinderpelt meowed happily "yesh great ider" "I'll have weed" thunderclan meowed happily as the cats ran and tackled leafpaw and grabbed her box of weed.

"to be continued…dun dun dun!" silverstarleaderofprincessclan meowed adding a evil laugh.

* * *

next chapter-more weed, more crack, more madness!

R&R

p.s. i really want you people to review )


	10. weird chapter that i wrote randomly!

last chapter was written weird-but really-the forest wasn't on drugs they just were hyper! i ment to write that on last chappie but forgot 2. so hope you didn't write a flamer on that one.R&R!

* * *

"where'd the crack n' weed go?" Firestar exclaimed "I did studies on it was just baby powder and fresh cut grass" the med. Cats exclaimed "so we were like drunk or something?" cloudtail meowed "nope just rrrrreeeeaaaalllllyyyy hyper" Leafpaw meowed happily acting like a fat cow. "Oh" the cats meowed every were, even in starclan.

"Mistyfoot get out of that cage" squirrelpaw meowed "yum fresh cut grass!" Mistyfoot meowed, still hyper. "Cut it out, get out of the cage" "fine stupid fur ball… you need cheese." "Yay lets go" squirrelpaw meowed sounding really depressed "I want a cracker" she exclaimed to Firestar "well let's leave the forest! Two-legs took the cottage cheese"

"are we there yet?" Leafpaw meowed "no" sandstorm hissed "are we there yet?" "no" "are we there yet?" "No, now shut up!" sandstorm snapped. "yes mommy" Leafpaw meowed "that's it guys!" squirrelpaw meowed "this way!" brambleclaw meowed. "Am I dead?" squirrelpaw meowed, ever since they found out they were just hyper, she had been ignored.

"Look tribe o' blah blah blah! Let's go in!" Firestar meowed "hi my names squirrelpaw" squirrelpaw meowed to stupid-one-who-likes-cheese "come in guys!" stupid-one-who-who-likes-cheese meowed happily ignoring squirrelpaw. "oh starclan tell me what is happening to me!" squirrelpaw meowed in frustration.

"Hello" Bluestar welcomed "you know you died right?" "I died?" squirrelpaw meowed confused "well yea stupid." Bluestar hissed "that's why I've been ignored" "yes of course well at least you got starclan, famous for cheese" Bluestar meowed happily.


	11. story, and random the end for now

"where's squirrelpaw?" firestar asked.

"remember she died…DUUUH" leafpaw meowed.

"ohh yeeeaaa that's right!" sandstorm and firestar purred.

"I'm not dead!" squirrelpaw hissed from starclan

"mmmm squirrelpaw, face it your dead!" spottedleaf meowed trying to make squirrelpaw happy.

…

"I give up!" starclan hissed leaving squirrelpaw in the middle of the road.

(bluestar runs over squirrelpaw)

"where am I, I feel like I got run over…" squirrelpaw hissed.

"hi squirrelpaw I though you were dead!" leafpaw meowed helping squirrelpaw up.

"well I was, then, then, then, I think bluestar ran me over by her big truck.

"ohhh hahaha! Your dead!" leafpaw meowed

"what?" squirrelpaw meowed

"well you died in starclan, so your dead in thunderclan!" leafpaw meowed bringing squirrelpaw to firestar.

"hey! I though you died!" firestar meowed

"oh yea about that, I'm still dead!" squirrelpaw hissed

"what? Am I dreaming?" firestar meowed pinching himself over and over again, saying ouch every time.

"well stupid-one-who-likes-cheese wants us to give him cheese…" firestar meowed

"but wwwwhhhyyyy?" squirrelpaw hissed with rage for no reason.

"because he wants it that's all…" firestar meowed looking at his toes.

"OH NEAT I HAVE TOES!" firestar meowed playing with his back paws.

"what an idiot!" cinderpelt meowed.

Soon all of thunderclan started playing with their toes. Except cinderpelt.

"oh my god what is wrong with you guys! your all lunatics- ooo toes!" cinderpelt shrieked playing with her toes like all the others.

Dododododododoodoo…

"MEOW MIX TRUCK!" leafpaw screamed running after the meow mix mobile.

"really! Cool!" sandstorm screamed also chasing the meow mix mobile.

(all the cats chase the meow mix mobile OKAY?)

"I cant run any more…" leafpaw meowed falling down, then roled down a hill, then fell off a cliff, then rolled on a road, then got hit my a truck, then randomly went of a escalator, then rolled around in the mall, then rolled out of a window which randomly apereared, fell on a car, and rolled all the way back to Thunderclan!

"whoa! That was painful!' leafpaw meowed while all the clan cats clapped.

The end of the series for now cuz…umm… I cant think of any more ideas for this….so if you got any suggestion-

"RAAAAWWWRRR!" Charlie brown screamed ripping off the note from the author of horrors of two-legs.

"NOOOO MOOORREE THHHEEE EEENNNDZZZZ!" Charlie brown screamed grabbing snoopy and throwing him though the the-end sig.

Then some random person came and arrested Charlie brown

_The end cuz I have to think of ideas for this story. No worries I update soon…-_

"RRRAAAAWWWWRR!"snoopy screamed talking for the first time.

"NOOOO ENDS! NO ENDS! YOU STUPID AUTHOR NO ENDS! AHHHH! NO ENDS! AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" snoopy shrieked as security grabbed snoopy and threw him in a kennel.

_**Omg finally, well like I said I gotta think of more ideas for this story so THE END for now. **Please give me ideas I would really appreciate it… do do do do do…._


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